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Showing posts from July, 2009

Thank you tears

Tears has been my closest friend this week she comes and go unexpectedly visiting on a whim and quietly tiptoing out always there waiting at the corner ready for me to share the secrets of my heart... ~Alia Adistya "Tears are God's gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow." - Rita Schiano

...is my prayer strong enough?

I am suddenly surrounded by grief and sadness... empty looks... they share their thoughts of despair Let me be of service to You I am at lost for words, at lost for what I need to do to help them or will a simple prayer be enough... is my prayer strong enough? "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran

a pounding headache

This pounding headache beats its pain from yesterdays emotional and exhausting day. Two months ago I had a spontaneous tarot card reading. He told me someone in my family will be leaving and it will impact the way I think...maybe this pounding headache is those thoughts trying to surface..because I currently have nothing in my head...only a prayer that my uncle will rest in peace. “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” - Oscar Wilde

Silence in waiting

A sister softly prays...head down, thin white shawl draped over her head. Wife sits staring out the glaring window, no expression, still, containing all emotions... Daughter lays down on the floor mat, head pounding. She turns her body towards the wall as a teardrop falls from her already swollen eyes and I catch my breath to keep strong. I look away to the grandchildren, sharing and playing their nintendo DS focused and full of joy... Cousin reading the gossip column...mano oh mano...again and again Nephew sits alone at a distance with his earphones..."Tak gendong..kemana-mana" Tapping his knees...drumming away to the beat of the music. With all this activity..there is this silent suffocation as we all wait...for what...for God's answer for today...

only the hand of Life can contain your hearts

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“Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping; For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together; For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” - Kahlil Gibran

You are in our prayers

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My deepest condolences to all family and victims... you are in our prayers.

Sunset Passing

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My macbook was finally returned today after a week of it being away from me... disassembled, stabilized and refastened to show its illuminating visions once again... and here I am returning to my afternoon ritual as I sit facing this silver object of mine, heated from the day's use. With the single desk lamp turned on in this dark working room, I get up and open the door in front of me, letting in the early night's breeze in as my guest. The sky is turning dark as the sunset begins its travels into someone else's sight. There is a sound, a rolling of a gate and the sound of my neighbors car coming in their driveway with a flashing glimpse of their headlight. I hear the sound of the call to prayer, a beautiful voice fragmented by the broken speaker. I surrender myself to you, may i be an instrument of goodness in this life and after. Free me of sarcasm, the need to judge, and negativity... It is always at this time, my body, my mind feeling most alive in its present moment..