I had no idea what she meant. "Does family constellation have something to do with the stars?" I asked her.
She explained to me about her experience in one of the session and it sounded all too bizarre. Strangers come together and act out as representation of energies within the subject’s family and ancestors. That the energy our ancestors experienced passes down from generation to generation and by revealing the unknown in our family's history, the therapist attempts to heal a physical or emotional issue that we are carrying from previous generations.
I thought she was nuts. But I was curious; I joined to observe a session in Ubud. We walked along a narrow and twisted pathway through Penestanan until we arrived at the therapist's home, a beautiful 2 story bungalow surrounded by lush rice paddies. Immediately I thought how much is she paying for this, I want to live here!
When we arrived, 20 or so‐foreigners from Argentina, Venezuela, Sweden, USA, Spain, France, Israel were already there. Some on vacation and others call ubud their home. The therapist, Martha, a tall Dutch woman was mingling with the guests, everyone in a very relaxed atmosphere.
Then she rang a little bronze bell; it was time to begin. Everyone walked in the main room and sat on the floor. It all became seriously quiet as Martha explained that there will be 2 sessions, each 1,5 hours with a break in between and that if we are called upon to represent a family member’s energy, we had a choice to say no and just be an observer. She introduced her 2 patients, a young girl from Spain and the other from Argentina. We begin with a short meditation to release energies we held within ourselves.
When we arrived, 20 or so‐foreigners from Argentina, Venezuela, Sweden, USA, Spain, France, Israel were already there. Some on vacation and others call ubud their home. The therapist, Martha, a tall Dutch woman was mingling with the guests, everyone in a very relaxed atmosphere.
Then she rang a little bronze bell; it was time to begin. Everyone walked in the main room and sat on the floor. It all became seriously quiet as Martha explained that there will be 2 sessions, each 1,5 hours with a break in between and that if we are called upon to represent a family member’s energy, we had a choice to say no and just be an observer. She introduced her 2 patients, a young girl from Spain and the other from Argentina. We begin with a short meditation to release energies we held within ourselves.
The Spanish girl, Salma went first. Salma explained she wanted to heal her relationship with her father because they haven't spoken for years. Martha probed deeper and then guided her to choose people to represent herself, her father and her mother, and then to place them in positions around the room while holding their shoulder to give off her energy. Then Martha began her therapy.
Martha asks each representation what they are feeling. The representing father feels sadness and confusion, he feels that the father does not know how to be a father to her. When the representing Salma faces him, he says he feels happy to see that she can be a mature woman taking care of herself. When they embrace, the father feels uncomfortable, he rather stand at a distance.
Martha asks each representation what they are feeling. The representing father feels sadness and confusion, he feels that the father does not know how to be a father to her. When the representing Salma faces him, he says he feels happy to see that she can be a mature woman taking care of herself. When they embrace, the father feels uncomfortable, he rather stand at a distance.
Martha points to two others to act out as the father's parents. Immediately the grandfather and the father face each other and you can feel their aggressive energy. The father begins to use curses in explaining his emotions. The grandfather looks strong and proud and says he feels he wants to bash him to the ground. I can feel their tension as my neck begins to tighten. The grandmother looks away and feels she has no voice, that she is insignificant to any of them. Then Martha points to another person to be the great-grandfather. The grandfather feels a strong resistance towards him. Then suddenly an observing man bursts into tears, and explains he represents sadness and pain.
During this whole process, Martha guides each of them with questions and directions of what they should try and how it makes them feel. Family secrets come out, truth and betrayal are revealed, and in the end when Martha feels they are ready to make the step, she asks them to forgive and accept the things that happened by repeating words of forgiveness that Martha has prepared. When they have come to accept, the healing of past negative energies makes it easier for the patient to move forward and to lead a life of her own choice.
At first I had thought it was about people being possessed, but they are completely aware of themselves as they feel the energies of these complete strangers. The second session, a little more complicated, began with a physical pain.
At first I had thought it was about people being possessed, but they are completely aware of themselves as they feel the energies of these complete strangers. The second session, a little more complicated, began with a physical pain.
A young woman in her early 20s nods and smiles to us. Martha asks her to tell us about herself and what she would like to heal today. She says she is Ariel from Argentina and begins to explain a chronic illness in her abdomen and lower back. Ariel is frustrated with constant pain and wants to be healthy. Martha asks more questions and dives a little deeper. Has she gone to the doctor? What sort of pain is it? Does she keep in touch with her family? Ariel explains more and says that her parents are always in pain as well. And with some hesitation Ariel adds that eventhough she is born in Argentina, her parents and siblings are originally from Israel.
Martha guides Ariel to choose people to represent herself, her pain, her father, and her mother and to place them in their positions. The pain representation latches on to the representing Ariel. The father and mother are far from her and the mother looks out the window and starts sobbing uncontrollably. I am a sponge to any strong emotion that is in my presence so I failed to hold on to my own tears.
Martha decides to choose people to represent the grandparents and the siblings of the mother. The mother hugs her younger sister and cries even harder, turns out the younger sister had died in an early age. The mother then feels she needs to face Ariel's grandmother (her mother) and says she feels so much admiration and respect for the grandmother to be able to stand strong even when her daughter died.
A woman raises her hand and explains she feels the energy of the grandmother's aunt and that she feels very afraid, she is in a closed room, she feels suffocated; she is sure it is a concentration camp. She lies on the floor unable to stand up. Martha quickly points to someone and tells her she represents the energy of the Jewish people. The Jewish energy starts crying and howling uncontrollably, she says she feels so sad and that she is disappearing. Martha asks the grandmother to embrace her and bow to her and to say how the Jewish energy will always go on, that the people will keep on passing down the Jewish energy but that the pain is not needed, that everyone has a choice to choose their own fate of happiness. The mother also bows and does the same ritual. This eases the Jewish energy.
Martha guides Ariel to choose people to represent herself, her pain, her father, and her mother and to place them in their positions. The pain representation latches on to the representing Ariel. The father and mother are far from her and the mother looks out the window and starts sobbing uncontrollably. I am a sponge to any strong emotion that is in my presence so I failed to hold on to my own tears.
Martha decides to choose people to represent the grandparents and the siblings of the mother. The mother hugs her younger sister and cries even harder, turns out the younger sister had died in an early age. The mother then feels she needs to face Ariel's grandmother (her mother) and says she feels so much admiration and respect for the grandmother to be able to stand strong even when her daughter died.
A woman raises her hand and explains she feels the energy of the grandmother's aunt and that she feels very afraid, she is in a closed room, she feels suffocated; she is sure it is a concentration camp. She lies on the floor unable to stand up. Martha quickly points to someone and tells her she represents the energy of the Jewish people. The Jewish energy starts crying and howling uncontrollably, she says she feels so sad and that she is disappearing. Martha asks the grandmother to embrace her and bow to her and to say how the Jewish energy will always go on, that the people will keep on passing down the Jewish energy but that the pain is not needed, that everyone has a choice to choose their own fate of happiness. The mother also bows and does the same ritual. This eases the Jewish energy.
Martha asks the real Ariel to stand in as herself and to embrace her mother. She completely refuses. Ariel is headstrong and says the story of the past is not her story, “I have my own life”. She repeats "this is not mine, I don't want it!" Martha explains to her that the future is unwritten and she can choose to heal the past by embracing her ancestors. Martha continued that Ariel should stand back near the pain if she is not ready for this step, but she refuses.
Observers become frustrated seeing her resisting so hard. Martha patiently talks to her, giving some guidance and finally she embraces her representing mother and starts crying in release. Martha then guides her to give a long bow to all her ancestors and the Jewish energy and Ariel adds that she will embrace her ancestors’ history by singing in Hebrew and teaching others about the music.
Martha asks all of us to join in a circle hand in hand and Ariel begins to sing a Hebrew song. We quietly listen to her sweet voice, holding hands with complete strangers but feeling such connection to each other. An older man in his 60s begin to tear up, he explains that this is his favorite Hebrew song. When it was all done I walked slowly to Martha and signed up for my own session.
*Names has been changed for confidentiality
Observers become frustrated seeing her resisting so hard. Martha patiently talks to her, giving some guidance and finally she embraces her representing mother and starts crying in release. Martha then guides her to give a long bow to all her ancestors and the Jewish energy and Ariel adds that she will embrace her ancestors’ history by singing in Hebrew and teaching others about the music.
Martha asks all of us to join in a circle hand in hand and Ariel begins to sing a Hebrew song. We quietly listen to her sweet voice, holding hands with complete strangers but feeling such connection to each other. An older man in his 60s begin to tear up, he explains that this is his favorite Hebrew song. When it was all done I walked slowly to Martha and signed up for my own session.
*Names has been changed for confidentiality
