The Sudden Breeze

Since I was young I had this constant need to learn about spirituality or anything that can empower the mind, body and soul. From religious teachings, self-improvement books, reading the new earth to practicing the law of attraction, it seemed that I couldn't just constrain myself to one method of belief. I realized it's not actually an answer that I seek, it's the discovery of looking into life questions itself that I enjoyed. After having a little fall-out the past months, I laid in bed and I questioned myself... what was I missing in this process? I am trying out this law of attraction... made the perfect vision board, and attracting the romance, the finances, the new friends, but I couldn't seem to hold on to it long enough. It just passes me by... like a butterfly having a beautiful dance near you... giving you that moment of bliss, and in an instant it flutters off never to be seen again. In my mind there will be more butterflies that comes and goes. Was I wrong...

an excerpt from "Love for No Reason" by Marci Shimoff In medieval Japan, the fierce samurai warriors were revered as kings. They carried large swords and were highly skilled at using them. One day, a famous samurai set out to find an aged monk who was known to be very wise. When he arrived at the monastery, he flung open the door and demanded of the old man, “Tell me, you are learned in these matters. What is heaven and what is hell?” The monk sat still for a moment on the tatami-matted floor. Then he turned and looked up at the warrior. “You call yourself a samurai warrior,” he said. “Why, look at you. You’re nothing but a mere sliver of a man! I doubt you could cut off the head of a fly with your sword.” For a moment, the samurai stood gaping. No one talked to a samurai like that! Then, as if someone had waved a red cloth in front of a bull, the samurai’s face contorted in rage. He bellowed, “How dare you! I won’t let you get away with such an insult.” Pulling his hu...

I was dancing with the bright full moon Swaying through the days like a pioneer Neglecting your enduring presence Losing site of your existence You float there in the shadows Gathering your deep cuts Black holes with infinite mass of sorrow Til it's time to say hello During my highest of highs You drag me to below Dark clouds above and all around Raining teardrops in thunderous storms You drown me with exhaustion This head heavy with emptiness Lungs gasping for air Remembering when we first met on the cold grey tiles in 1992 ~Alia Adistya

Last night I was able to finish "The Witch of Portobello" by Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho. I've read a few of his books and his stories continually presents a magical wisdom that constantly gives me "aha" moments. This particular story gave me plentiful of mind-opening thoughts Some words from the book: "Let go of the idea that the path will lead you to your goal. The truth is that with each step we take, we arrive. Repeat that to yourself every morning: I’ve arrived." "You are what you believe yourself to be. Don't be like those people who believe in "positive thinking" and tell themselves that they're loved and strong and capable. You don't need to do that because you know it already. And when you doubt it — which happens, I think, quite often at this stage of evolution — do as I suggested. Instead of trying to prove that you're better than you think, just laugh. Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View you...

It's been exactly one month since I've moved to Bali. How has it been? At times I still have those occasional episodes of negativity and brooding, but I must admit it has been so much easier to become quickly aware and breathe in to the present moment. I've become more kinder to myself. Basically I feel at ease and renewed :) Not sure if it's the move or if I'm just at that stage. The atmosphere definitely plays a big role. Tomorrow fasting begins for the month of Ramadan, and for our last lunch today I decided to prepare a meal of falafels, hummus and some fresh salad. I tried a recipe that I found at  about.com turned out pretty tasty! Even my sister ended up eating the falafels with 2 servings of salad, and she's the type of person who doesn't eat greens. Why the sudden change of heart? Maybe because I grated a lot of cheese on top!! :D falafel hummus My first self-cooked meal in Bali :) A Ramadan poem from Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi O moo...

Feeling a bit under the weather today but I just enrolled in DailyOM's course 'A Year of Rumi' and I wanted to share a beautiful poem that immediately lifted my spirit up: If you are seeking, seek us with joy For we live in the kingdom of joy. Do not give your heart to anything else But to the love of those who are clear joy, Do not stray into the neighborhood of despair. For there are hopes: they are real, they exist – Do not go in the direction of darkness – I tell you: suns exist. - Jalal-ud-Din Rumi (Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi) "Suns exist" :)

We find out the heart only by dismantling what the heart knows. By redefining the morning, we find a morning that comes just after darkness. We can break through marriage into marriage. By insisting on love we spoil it, get beyond affection and wade mouth-deep into love. We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars. But going back toward childhood will not help. The village is not better than Pittsburgh. Only Pittsburgh is more than Pittsburgh. Rome is better than Rome in the same way the sound of raccoon tongues licking the inside walls of the garbage tub is more than the stir of them in the muck of the garbage. Love is not enough. We die and are put into the earth forever. We should insist while there is still time. We must eat through the wildness of her sweet body already in our bed to reach the body within that body. –Jack Gilbert Loving this poem I found via superforest

Thank u for always being there for me Watching cheesy chick flicks with yummy eyecandy Never giving up when I was negative and really down You always had the right words to remove my frown Always believing in new possibilities Never bowing down to conformities I admire your passion in the things you do I love all the things that is you ~Alia Adistya

Notice the empty glass Longing to be poured a calm comfort Weaves of threads awaits folded and still Familiar footprints gentle touches of open palms Tears and wishes, whispers and fears Embrace and cradle me once again Coating heaven to these heavy breaths Till the fire inside smiles And a steady peace follows ~Alia Adistya

Enjoying this exotic adventure Life feels odd, nothing fits and everything's foreign Where gratitude comes from every direction And paths keeps opening to reveal new hopes many more wonderful experiences and emotions to absorb until I am completely filled up when I return to You and that I have used this vessel in Your purpose I long for Your embrace and the peace that surrounds So at this time I pray that You will always be present with glimpses of Your whispers wherever I am ~ Alia Adistya

Driving this late hour Only a few cars moving at the same direction The high speed feels liberating How easy it is to just let go Then the whispers come And the connection comes again ~Alia Adistya

I love to read however there's just so much books on my list and so little time. So for some books I decided to listen to the audiobook instead. But when purchasing an audiobook one needs to be selective because you'll have different preferences in who the narrator is (I usually listen to a sample before i make a purchase from audible.com) and for most books, they were just meant to be read. Right now I am listening to Maya Angelou's "Letter to My Daughter", with the narration by Maya Angelou herself :) Here's some quotes from the book that I loved. "Home is that youthful region where a child is the only real living inhabitant. Parents, siblings, and neighbors, are mysterious apparitions, who come, go, and do strange unfathomable things in and around the child, the region’s only enfranchised citizen." "I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call th...