Posts

Showing posts from 2009

for a moment

Driving this late hour Only a few cars moving at the same direction The high speed feels liberating How easy it is to just let go Then the whispers come And the connection comes again ~Alia Adistya

Doing what you love

Image
A great article in The New York Times about Etsy! www.nytimes.com

"Inside all of us is HOPE...FEAR...ADVENTURE... Inside all of us is a WILD THING"

Image
Many generations grew up with the books by Maurice Sendak and his extraordinarily imaginative illustrations and stories. Spike Jonze has directed a live-action film version of Maurice Sendak's most famous book, "Where the Wild Things Are" that was written in 1963. I remember my childhood in Virginia, reading his books and being lost in his magical world. The movie was released in the US in October but I'm not sure when it's hitting the theaters in Asia. I really want to see this! Featurette with Maurice Sendak Great soundtrack as well! motion picture soundtrack: dgcrecords.com/promos/wherethewildthingsare official website: wherethewildthingsare.warnerbros.com Cast: Max Records, Forest Whitaker, Catherine Keener, Paul Dano, James Gandolfini, Mark Ruffalo Director: Spike Jonze Writer: Spike Jonze, Dave Eggers

My First Tandem Paragliding Landing

Puncak, West Java A bit rough, but exhilarating :D

Conscious Eating

Image
Throughout my life I've never really watched what I eat nor committed to a specific exercise routine. I would always get hyped up to the idea of a new activity or diet and slowly lose interest as my mind gets distracted to day-to-day events like looking at Robert Pattinson's wallpaper on my monitor :P But I believe now is the right time for me to break away from old habits, focusing in what nourishes my body and where it comes from. Our body is our vehicle to do good on this earth. From years and years of knowing this, only now do I really want to take the step in being more conscious about my body. Better late than never :) There is this scene in the movie 'City of Angels' when Seth asks Maggie to describe what a pear taste like: Seth : What's that like? What's it taste like? Describe it like Hemingway. Maggie Ric e : Well, it tastes like a pear. You don't know what a pear tastes like? Seth : I don't know what a pear tastes like to you. Maggie Rice : Sw

Soundtrack for a Revolution

Image
Just got back from watching the documentary film " Soundtrack for a Revolution " at Jakarta International Film Festival (JiFFest)...what can I say... powerful and inspirational. Makes me want to join a cause and commit to a greater purpose. Love those films that has that kind of an effect :) (Also wished I had a good voice so I could sing along LOL) SOUNDTRACK FOR A REVOLUTION tells the story of the American civil rights movement through its powerful music -the freedom songs protesters sang on picket lines, in mass meetings, in paddy wagons, and in jail cells as they fought for justice and equality. The film features new performances of the freedom songs by top artists, including John Legend, Joss Stone, Wyclef Jean, and The Roots; riveting archival footage; and interviews with civil rights foot soldiers and leaders, including Congressman John Lewis, Harry Belafonte, Julian Bond, and Ambassador Andrew Young.

Alice in WaterLand

Image
Love this photograph by Elena Kalis, view the complete set at elenakalisphoto.com she has a lot more underwater projects. Can't wait to try out my underwater camera!

Before Sunset

Image
the warm golden afternoon sun peeks from the small gap of the front door straight to my eyes creating sparkling circles of rays, blinding me. Time to take it slow, say a prayer and be in stillness... bringing to mind all the things to be grateful for.

Entenmaaaaaann's

Image
Phew what a day! A load of work but happy to get a lot done today. Well I chatted with my best friend yesterday and she's coming from New York to visit here next week! So excited to be able to see her again, and she'll be bringing me my favorite snack which they don't sell here... entenmann's soft baked chocolate chip cookies... yummmm... will be drooling until she comes next week :) I've been friends with this unique individual since 1990, back in the day when her hair was curly, frizzy, and unruly and we wore plaid and polka-dots. Throughout the years she's evolved into this beautiful stylish woman who has a passion for what she does in life and in the office. I lived with her family for a few months when I was applying for colleges in New York, and then a few years later she eventually became my roommate. We've been through a lot together, experiencing love, loss, insanity, happiness, life altering changes and fun adventures. Even when we haven't bee

Staying home

Image
I've been hearing people lately telling me to go out, meet people, hang out, and I do! Buy the truth is... I actually really enjoy staying home and being a hermit especially in Jakarta. At home I create. And when I am creating, I feel peaceful even in those darker days. It's like therapy (I really wish one day to have my own crafting studio, crossing my fingers) I stayed home all day today and actually most of yesterday doing work, watching dvd's, chatting with an old friend and crafting. Watched the movie about Coco Chanel and also Julia Child (Julie & Julia) makes me want to create and cook! Their enthusiasm, creativity and obsession for their craft is so inspiring. Well this past few months I started a new venture with my best friend making hair accessories. So far we've been taking orders for wedding parties, and hopefully next month our website will be up and running... hopefully :) Love this line from Julie & Julia when Julie Powell explains her reasons t

Polyamorous Crushes

I often visit the site SoulPancake which I first found out from Oprah's interview with Rainn Wilson, yes the lovable yet annoying guy from "The Office" who founded the website. The purpose of the website is to discuss Spirituality, Creativity, and Philosophy in a hip and cool way with interviews, blogs, contests, etc. One of the recent question asks who our 5 Polyamorous Crushes are. " A polyamorous crush goes beyond sexuality; it's about being enthralled with either a couple, a team, a cast, even a mob of people working towards a common goal. You're not quite sure, but something about them turns you on. " Here are my 5 Polyamorous Crushes: 1. Sigur Rós (their music had always moved me, and after watching the film Heima , their passion for their art inspired me even more) 2. Oprah and her crew (I could imagine a lot of great energy resides in the work place) 3. Jason Mraz, his crew and joyologist Tricia Huffman (a joyologist is a profession where you

Lupen Grainne

Image
Loving these photographs by Lupen Grainne

Past Memory

I am quite a forgetful person, someone said it's because I am lacking in oxygen :) (Note to self: start exercising!) I tend to forget a lot of things but why do I keep remembering the thing that I want to forget about the most. At times I feel as if I've gone past it and moved on, forgiving and coming to terms, but sometimes memories have a way of creeping back to you. Time for some positive affirmations I found! The past has no power over me, I allow the light to fill me with hope and positivity. I am grateful, for I am a perfect Spirit of the Universe and I share in its abundance in everyway, today and everyday. I am thankful for all that I have, for all that I don't have, and for all that I have been given here and now. Everything in my life, every thought, feeling, face, moment, and situation is a divine gift and I am wholeheartedly thankful. I am thankful for the creative thoughts that rise and allow me to perceive all that is here now. This day, I am content

Thích Nhất Hạnh

Image
Thích Nhất Hạnh (Tick-Naught-Han) called by his students Thay (meaning teacher) is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, zen master, peace and human rights activist to name a few. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr. in 1967 for his efforts to generate peace and reconciliation. One day I hope to be able to visit Plum Village , his meditation practice center in southern France, where he teaches and writes when he's not travelling around the world. But for now, I'll just share some of his quotes that I enjoy: "You are what you want to become. Why search anymore? You are a wonderful manifestation. The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible. There is nothing that is not you. The kingdom of God, the Pure Land, nirvana, happiness, and liberation are all you." "Does the rose have to do something? No, the purpose of a rose is to be a rose. Your purpose is to be yourself. You don't have to run anywhere to become someon

Hugging Meditation

Image
I came across a blog by Patti Digh: 37days.typepad.com "What would you be doing today if you only had 37 days to live?". She had a post about Thich Naht Hanh hugging meditation: "Hugging meditation is a combination of East and West. According to the practice, you have to really hug the person you are hugging. You have to make him or her very real in your arms, not just for the sake of appearances, patting him on the back to pretend you are there, but breathing consciously and hugging with all your body, spirit, and heart. Hugging meditation is a practice of mindfulness. "Breathing in, I know my dear one is in my arms, alive. Breathing out, she is so precious to me." If you breathe deeply like that, holding the person you love, the energy of care, love, and mindfulness will penetrate into that person and she will be nourished and bloom like a flower. When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. Hugging with mindfulness and concen

Quotation

Image
Loving this tattoo from A cup of Jo

The piano

Image
I started playing the piano in second grade when I was living in virginia, taking lessons with an old woman in her 60s which name I can't seem to remember. But I do remember how she looked, pale wrinkled white skin, small brown eyes that glistened, and short brown curly hair, curly as Annie. She seemed to have this distinctive style, always wearing an a-line skirt just below the knee with a blouse tucked in, dark tinted stockings and a pair of 1 inch heeled prairie like shoes. She was strict with the lessons, but I remember her always being so sweet to me, and I especially loved the times when we would do our duets during the recitals. I had about three other piano teachers after that as we moved from place to place and by the time I started high school in New York, I wanted to explore other instruments and came to play the alto saxophone. I was pretty good at it, and after a year I enrolled in the school's jazz band. Yes, I was your typical geek, excellent in math and joined t

the path is clear

As I embrace this darkness...I can finally see the light... the dark becomes a beautiful peaceful place of awakening...and the journey will be miraculous...

rest

...calling this darkness home for now...

"Letter to My Daughter" Maya Angelou

I love to read however there's just so much books on my list and so little time. So for some books I decided to listen to the audiobook instead. But when purchasing an audiobook one needs to be selective because you'll have different preferences in who the narrator is (I usually listen to a sample before i make a purchase from audible.com) and for most books, they were just meant to be read. Right now I am listening to Maya Angelou's "Letter to My Daughter", with the narration by Maya Angelou herself :) Here's some quotes from the book that I loved. "Home is that youthful region where a child is the only real living inhabitant. Parents, siblings, and neighbors, are mysterious apparitions, who come, go, and do strange unfathomable things in and around the child, the region’s only enfranchised citizen." "I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call th

Strength of the mind

...slicing throbbing pain, I bend my arm to see the skin near my elbow and find a long horrific gash, visible red flesh. I grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol with my left hand and pour it without hesitant on the wound, emptying the bottle out completely. I feel every piercing gut wrenching sting that I wake up shaking... These past few nights, I've had dreams where I am injured and I feel the pain. The pain becomes so excruciating that it wakes me up from sleep, and when I awake the pain continues for a few moments even if the physical injury doesn't really exist. From the dream dictionary: To dream that you are in pain, signifies that you are being too hard on yourself, especially if a situation was out of your control. To dream that you are injured, suggests that you need to work on healing old wounds and hurts. You need to stop and slow down. If pain is felt in a dream where it's physically non-existent, then I can understand even more the strength of our mind & soul,

Light Breeze by Rumi

As regards feeling pain, like a hand cut in battle, consider the body a robe you wear. When you meet someone you love, do you kiss their clothes? Search out who's inside. Union with God is sweeter than body comforts. We have hands and feet different from these. Sometimes in dream we see them. That is not illusion. It's seeing truly. You do have a spirit body; don't dread leaving the physical one. Sometimes someone feels this truth so strongly that he or she can live in mountain solitude totally refreshed. The worried, heroic doings of men and women seem weary and futile to dervishes enjoying the light breeze of spirit. ~ Rumi

Body and Soul

I stare at my 2 hands on the steering wheel. Big boney fingers, rough cracked sun-spotted skin, I can't seem to recognize them. How are these foreign hands able to move? They no longer feel connected to me as the sense of detachment rises to it's highest point. How can the soul feel, how does the emotion connect to the body. How does my body shake when I am angry, shocked or feeling small, how do these salty tears keep falling when I am sad or overjoyed, how does the gut crunching laugh begin when I hear something hilarious. How does nausea come when a bad memory sneaks in, how does my heart beat rapidly when inspiration comes to me. And why at this time, do I feel my soul separating from this body. I feel as though the time has come to go beyond this flesh and expand this energy within. "The Truth has shared so much of Itself With me That I can no longer call myself A man, a woman, an angel, Or even pure Soul." ~ Hafiz

Reincarnation

My friend and I met up with this guy who had psychic abilities. He was able to see paths that are opening for us and also our past life. He mentioned that my friend was a french guy :D I could completely see her as being french but the "guy" part surprised me! Then he mentioned that he was only able to see me as a child. I don't really know if I believe in reincarnations so I did some research. In the Qur'an there are these verses: "How can you reject faith in God? Do you not recall that you were once without life, and God gave you life; then God will cause you to die, and will again bring you to life; and finally to God will you return." (2:28) "They will say, "Our Lord, you have put us to death twice, and You gave us two lives; now we have confessed our sins. Is there any way out?" (40:11) From these versus it seems that we have two lives. However in another verse it says: When death comes to one of them, he says, 'My Lord, send me back

God circled on a map for you

The place where you are right now God circled on a map for you. Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move against the earth and sky, the Beloved has bowed there. Our Beloved has bowed there knowing you were coming. I could tell you a priceless secret about your real worth dear pilgrim. But any unkindness to yourself, any confusion about others, will keep one from accepting the grace, the love! Hafiz

Past Present Future

Image
I received an early birthday present from a wonderful friend. It's actually 3 things symbolic of the past present and future. For the past: a beautiful silver locket with blue tile design on the front, inside a picture of my mother and father when they got married :) For the present: a lollipop to make each moment a little sweeter. For the future: an astrology book of 2010 :D In the book, it mentions I have many angels surrounding me in the form of human beings in my quest for self discovery. This friend is definitely one of them. Because of these angels in my life, there's a rumbling deep inside my soul, anticipation of all the possibilities of how this life will turn out. I am looking forward in following all the clues, discovering what kind of person I am turning into, and becoming a better human being each day. "Be an angel to someone else whenever you can, as a way of thanking God for the help your angel has given you." - Eileen Elias Freeman

Soulmate

I now understand what the term soulmate means for me.. Before I had always thought everyone was born with one destined for them..the perfect match. But what I came to realize is our souls are an ever-changing and evolving being. It changes, it grows and at times it is also trapped. For some it is a consistent growth in an easy pace and for others it is rapid and strong or maybe an entanglement from one energy to another. During those beautiful moments people meet and connect amazingly, I believe they were actually soulmates of that time in their life, having the same energy or being in a situation where one balances out the other. However the growth of everyone's soul come in different speeds or go in different directions and at times the connection begins to weaken. There are people who realize it and commit to do the work, aligning their souls to the same level again (preferably to a greater level) and there are others who decide to part and follow a separate direction they were

The Memory

Do I need to embrace it to finally let go.. doesn't seem to work to just let go and move on... ghosts are haunting me... over and over... the more i try to forget... the more painful it is when the memories comes the remedy: finding a silver lining that came out of it because at the moment... the memory stings

Words of Hāfez (Hafiz) the Great Sufi Master

Your love Should never be offered to the mouth of a Stranger, Only to someone Who has the valor and daring To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife Then weave them into a blanket To protect you. ... The earth has disappeared beneath my feet, Illusion fled from all my ecstasy. Now like a radiant sky creature God keeps opening. God keeps opening Inside of Me. ... Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth,”You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.

dreams and nightmares

Image
What are dreams and nightmares... some believe they are revelations from God or from the spirits of the afterlife... some believe they mean nothing and others believe they are an insight to our psychological being... I believe in the latter and that from it we can learn more about our current state and our need to progress and grow. Last night I had an unimaginable nightmare that I dare not to share... it makes me cringe just thinking about it now. I've read that the most vivid of nightmares can actually help us by pointing out what we need to focus on: "They make vivid and memorable some important thoughts and feelings that we tend to push aside by day, they articulate the nature of the conflicts we face, and highlight the connection between present challenges and past history" -Bud J. From my dream I found an interpretation from dreammoods.com: You are feeling violated in some way or being taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emo

Returning to my daily activities

I finally returned home late last night... with a dark silence in the house. My sister opened the kitchen door for me and helped me out with one of my bags. I gave her a nice hug afterwards. It has been about 10 days that I have had no contact with my family or my usual activities... and it feels so good to be back home. I will tell you about my journeys in the next few posts.

the path

She stands with her body pressed against the wall... as the smell of recently dried paint spins the room into a four sided tornado. "Let me be invisible and melt into this brick red wall for just this moment, without no soul and no emotions. Without this heavy fear inside me" The door suddenly opens. He walks in and slowly turns to her. "You misunderstood" he says. "Embrace those fears and all of its emotions... it will take you to the soul you seek to become." "March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path." - Kahlil Gibran

the lonely guest

Anxiety lurks within her these past few months...taking in half of the oxygen and throwing her the rest to gasp on. She knows what will set her free from it but chooses to ignore the whispers...uninspired to take the step. The weight of the world does not lie upon her yet she doesn't open herself freely to it. You are the way, You are the light, but she chooses the shadowed corner on this quiet night.

Thank you tears

Tears has been my closest friend this week she comes and go unexpectedly visiting on a whim and quietly tiptoing out always there waiting at the corner ready for me to share the secrets of my heart... ~Alia Adistya "Tears are God's gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow." - Rita Schiano

...is my prayer strong enough?

I am suddenly surrounded by grief and sadness... empty looks... they share their thoughts of despair Let me be of service to You I am at lost for words, at lost for what I need to do to help them or will a simple prayer be enough... is my prayer strong enough? "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran

a pounding headache

This pounding headache beats its pain from yesterdays emotional and exhausting day. Two months ago I had a spontaneous tarot card reading. He told me someone in my family will be leaving and it will impact the way I think...maybe this pounding headache is those thoughts trying to surface..because I currently have nothing in my head...only a prayer that my uncle will rest in peace. “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” - Oscar Wilde

Silence in waiting

A sister softly prays...head down, thin white shawl draped over her head. Wife sits staring out the glaring window, no expression, still, containing all emotions... Daughter lays down on the floor mat, head pounding. She turns her body towards the wall as a teardrop falls from her already swollen eyes and I catch my breath to keep strong. I look away to the grandchildren, sharing and playing their nintendo DS focused and full of joy... Cousin reading the gossip column...mano oh mano...again and again Nephew sits alone at a distance with his earphones..."Tak gendong..kemana-mana" Tapping his knees...drumming away to the beat of the music. With all this activity..there is this silent suffocation as we all wait...for what...for God's answer for today...

only the hand of Life can contain your hearts

Image
“Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping; For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together; For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” - Kahlil Gibran

You are in our prayers

Image
My deepest condolences to all family and victims... you are in our prayers.

Sunset Passing

Image
My macbook was finally returned today after a week of it being away from me... disassembled, stabilized and refastened to show its illuminating visions once again... and here I am returning to my afternoon ritual as I sit facing this silver object of mine, heated from the day's use. With the single desk lamp turned on in this dark working room, I get up and open the door in front of me, letting in the early night's breeze in as my guest. The sky is turning dark as the sunset begins its travels into someone else's sight. There is a sound, a rolling of a gate and the sound of my neighbors car coming in their driveway with a flashing glimpse of their headlight. I hear the sound of the call to prayer, a beautiful voice fragmented by the broken speaker. I surrender myself to you, may i be an instrument of goodness in this life and after. Free me of sarcasm, the need to judge, and negativity... It is always at this time, my body, my mind feeling most alive in its present moment..

Back home

Image
mimpi dive resort, tulamben, bali Just got back home around midnight last night from my diving trip to Tulamben which is in the north-east coast of Bali. My friends and I completed our advance PADI course with our good friend and great dive instructor Angela. One of the things I love the most about these trips are the unique characters of people that I encounter and share my travels with. Listening to their stories, and seeing their interactions with their loved ones always inspires me to become a better person. I had arrived in Denpasar on Thursday night meeting Katsura and our driver at the airport to take us to Tulamben where most of our friends already arrived earlier. The road to Tulamben is a smooth cemented road with a curvy snake like path slithering in the wee-hours of the night. I took some antimo (medication for motion sickness) before I left so there were no worries about sudden hurls in sudden whirls. We passed by traditional balinese houses, still and quiet with their sle

My first posting

I begin my first posting in a taxi ride to the airport. The sunset is showing it's first hints of glow and I see the local kids play soccer with their bare feet on an unrully grass field. The traffic is on my side today, evenly paced with no traces of anxiety. What a peacefull afternoon it is. Right now I feel as if I can achieve an ultimate sense of gratitude. I am grateful for my life, my family, this feeling, and where I am today. It is going to be a wonderful trip...