The Sudden Breeze

Growing up, I've had the notion that being an introvert was a disadvantage. My kindergarden teacher decided to keep me for another year because I wasn't speaking or socializing with any of the other kids. Yes, I flunked kindergarden! Since then I tried to force myself to socialize more and be more outgoing although on most events I end up shutting down. Socializing has always been a daunting and overwhelming task unless it's with a few very close friends who I have strong connections with. But now that I look back, it just takes a longer time for me to adjust to new situations and to cozy up with new friends, even now. Recently, being able to accept myself as I am with every little quirks, has actually made me more relaxed in social situations, not putting myself in so much pressure to fit in. Today I came across this article on twitter that should make all introverts out there proud :) (although for Myth #9, I am actually an adrenaline junkie...so not sure where that put...

When you step back to look at things from a distance... You see the truth. These beings that I have been blessed to call friends and family are truly magnificent forces of nature. Talented, intelligent, beautiful, emotional, wise, fearless, adventurous, and all in their own way. Love everything about them. Sending my love and prayers to everyone.

To those who celebrate... may you enjoy a blessed festival this Eid ul-Fitr 1431H

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we forget to trully see the beauty that surrounds us. Things I saw while I was sitting after prayer, with no thoughts in mind. A moment of bliss.

Reminder: extra strength panadol taken at night = ridiculous insomnia

Looking at my non-existent savings account, my credit card bills, and the shopping spree I've journeyed into these past 2 weeks, I ask myself how did I get here again? I'm back to where I started over a decade ago in New York with my wide-eyed, heart racing excitement caused by my first plastic card looking at "objects" in a different sort of way... finding the amazing variety of cute shops promising you individual style for the millions of people, the red banners with the letters S-A-L-E and once in a lifetime sample sales held a few times each year. Moving to Jakarta, I presumed the temptations would be less challenging but I admit I was wrong. When it comes to online shopping, bazaars, clothing, shoes, souvenirs, gadgets, well actually any kind of shopping, I buy more than i need, and spend more than my budget. The sad thing is I only use half of the things I buy, and the rest takes its long nap underneath the chaos of my unorganized closet. How easy it is to get...

Dove of Peace by Pablo Picasso a scorpion as well :) source:  www.tarot.com Scorpio is the only sign that has three animal totems. First, there is the well-known Scorpion with its active tail. Second, as the Scorpio learns to master its passion and hold its instincts at bay, it changes into the Eagle. The Eagle has more perspective, for it flies high above the surface of circumstances, swooping down with its power only to kill prey for food. In its third form, the Scorpion becomes the always-peaceful dove. The real meaning of Scorpio is thus shown. Scorpio is about metamorphosis. Scorpios transform the painful poisons of possessive passion into a higher consciousness based on universal love. Your motto might be "What is hidden is more interesting than what is obvious." You are the detectives of the zodiac. But you can also be secretive yourself, for you learn early on that when you express everything, others may be scared by the power of your feelings. You have the magic ...

There are so many people and situations around the world which cries for help that it overwhelms you to the fact that you just feel inadequate and paralyzed. So how do you choose whom to help when its impossible of helping everyone at the same time? I think about this and maybe the answer is to start with the people or situations closest to you and work from there. Clean your closet, organize your room, then your home and community, make better relationships with your family, friends, and neighbors, the people that are right there in front of you.. and with that strong foundation it can expand in more meaningful depth... being love itself and having compassion to everyone and first and foremost.. to yourself

What does it look like to you? A picture I took of a cloud formation at Ha Long Bay, Vietnam. (Ha Long literally translates as Descending Dragon) I've been trying to sleep by 10 these past few nights with little luck. Last night I just closed my eyes and waited...and then after an hour I opened my eyes again facing straight at my sister's pillow just centimeters away. The pillow's print was a childlike painting of a bird, but in the angle I was facing it, I realized it look like a tadpole with a party hat :D this suddenly made me think about situations and the way we feel and look at them. We can look at things and see it in so many ways if we are willing to shift the angle. And the angles are limitless :)

Most of my time living in Jakarta, I am consumed with the thoughts in my head, with work that needs to be done, the plans I want to make, figuring out what I need to have and want to become. The only time I can let go, breathe freely, enjoy my surroundings, and be presently aware is during my travels. But I've come to realize I don't need to travel miles to find peace and beauty, it all depends on how I am feeling inside (although finding peace and beauty is definitely much easier when I am surrounded by nature). Eventhough I still have a long way to go in finding calmness during daily irritations, and life's hiccups (and seeing it as something positive)... wherever I am, I am slowly learning the concept of becoming still, clearing my thoughts, just breathing and being... and then suddenly everything becomes beautiful and God is in everything I see and everywhere I am. Dialogue from the movie "Their Eyes Were Watching God" Tea Cake: Whatcha doin', Janie? Janie...

1. Drink more water 8 glasses a day at least! 2. Eat consciously Be aware of my body and the energy I put in it. 3. Exercise I'm thinking to start with morning jogs or walks :) 4. Build up Tea for Two Complete the website and product photography! 5. Make at least 1 person smile a day Starting w/ my family :D 6. Travel more See as many places even if its just short budget weekend trips. Have more family trips. 7. Budget conscious Save money for deposit, Monthly savings 8. Blog at least once a week Practice writing and telling stories to be more communicative to others 9. Spiritual cleanse Meditate, Pray & be grateful everyday 10. Practice "Why Not?" One of my best friend says everytime she is presented with an opportunity, she says "why not"...so in other words, have more yes's in life! Last and most important...Live everyday consciously, being aware of every moment and details!

A great article in The New York Times about Etsy! www.nytimes.com

Phew what a day! A load of work but happy to get a lot done today. Well I chatted with my best friend yesterday and she's coming from New York to visit here next week! So excited to be able to see her again, and she'll be bringing me my favorite snack which they don't sell here... entenmann's soft baked chocolate chip cookies... yummmm... will be drooling until she comes next week :) I've been friends with this unique individual since 1990, back in the day when her hair was curly, frizzy, and unruly and we wore plaid and polka-dots. Throughout the years she's evolved into this beautiful stylish woman who has a passion for what she does in life and in the office. I lived with her family for a few months when I was applying for colleges in New York, and then a few years later she eventually became my roommate. We've been through a lot together, experiencing love, loss, insanity, happiness, life altering changes and fun adventures. Even when we haven't bee...

I've been hearing people lately telling me to go out, meet people, hang out, and I do! Buy the truth is... I actually really enjoy staying home and being a hermit especially in Jakarta. At home I create. And when I am creating, I feel peaceful even in those darker days. It's like therapy (I really wish one day to have my own crafting studio, crossing my fingers) I stayed home all day today and actually most of yesterday doing work, watching dvd's, chatting with an old friend and crafting. Watched the movie about Coco Chanel and also Julia Child (Julie & Julia) makes me want to create and cook! Their enthusiasm, creativity and obsession for their craft is so inspiring. Well this past few months I started a new venture with my best friend making hair accessories. So far we've been taking orders for wedding parties, and hopefully next month our website will be up and running... hopefully :) Love this line from Julie & Julia when Julie Powell explains her reasons t...

I often visit the site SoulPancake which I first found out from Oprah's interview with Rainn Wilson, yes the lovable yet annoying guy from "The Office" who founded the website. The purpose of the website is to discuss Spirituality, Creativity, and Philosophy in a hip and cool way with interviews, blogs, contests, etc. One of the recent question asks who our 5 Polyamorous Crushes are. " A polyamorous crush goes beyond sexuality; it's about being enthralled with either a couple, a team, a cast, even a mob of people working towards a common goal. You're not quite sure, but something about them turns you on. " Here are my 5 Polyamorous Crushes: 1. Sigur Rós (their music had always moved me, and after watching the film Heima , their passion for their art inspired me even more) 2. Oprah and her crew (I could imagine a lot of great energy resides in the work place) 3. Jason Mraz, his crew and joyologist Tricia Huffman (a joyologist is a profession where you ...

I started playing the piano in second grade when I was living in virginia, taking lessons with an old woman in her 60s which name I can't seem to remember. But I do remember how she looked, pale wrinkled white skin, small brown eyes that glistened, and short brown curly hair, curly as Annie. She seemed to have this distinctive style, always wearing an a-line skirt just below the knee with a blouse tucked in, dark tinted stockings and a pair of 1 inch heeled prairie like shoes. She was strict with the lessons, but I remember her always being so sweet to me, and I especially loved the times when we would do our duets during the recitals. I had about three other piano teachers after that as we moved from place to place and by the time I started high school in New York, I wanted to explore other instruments and came to play the alto saxophone. I was pretty good at it, and after a year I enrolled in the school's jazz band. Yes, I was your typical geek, excellent in math and joined t...

As I embrace this darkness...I can finally see the light... the dark becomes a beautiful peaceful place of awakening...and the journey will be miraculous...

...calling this darkness home for now...

I stare at my 2 hands on the steering wheel. Big boney fingers, rough cracked sun-spotted skin, I can't seem to recognize them. How are these foreign hands able to move? They no longer feel connected to me as the sense of detachment rises to it's highest point. How can the soul feel, how does the emotion connect to the body. How does my body shake when I am angry, shocked or feeling small, how do these salty tears keep falling when I am sad or overjoyed, how does the gut crunching laugh begin when I hear something hilarious. How does nausea come when a bad memory sneaks in, how does my heart beat rapidly when inspiration comes to me. And why at this time, do I feel my soul separating from this body. I feel as though the time has come to go beyond this flesh and expand this energy within. "The Truth has shared so much of Itself With me That I can no longer call myself A man, a woman, an angel, Or even pure Soul." ~ Hafiz

I received an early birthday present from a wonderful friend. It's actually 3 things symbolic of the past present and future. For the past: a beautiful silver locket with blue tile design on the front, inside a picture of my mother and father when they got married :) For the present: a lollipop to make each moment a little sweeter. For the future: an astrology book of 2010 :D In the book, it mentions I have many angels surrounding me in the form of human beings in my quest for self discovery. This friend is definitely one of them. Because of these angels in my life, there's a rumbling deep inside my soul, anticipation of all the possibilities of how this life will turn out. I am looking forward in following all the clues, discovering what kind of person I am turning into, and becoming a better human being each day. "Be an angel to someone else whenever you can, as a way of thanking God for the help your angel has given you." - Eileen Elias Freeman