The Sudden Breeze

I finally returned home late last night... with a dark silence in the house. My sister opened the kitchen door for me and helped me out with one of my bags. I gave her a nice hug afterwards. It has been about 10 days that I have had no contact with my family or my usual activities... and it feels so good to be back home. I will tell you about my journeys in the next few posts.

She stands with her body pressed against the wall... as the smell of recently dried paint spins the room into a four sided tornado. "Let me be invisible and melt into this brick red wall for just this moment, without no soul and no emotions. Without this heavy fear inside me" The door suddenly opens. He walks in and slowly turns to her. "You misunderstood" he says. "Embrace those fears and all of its emotions... it will take you to the soul you seek to become." "March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path." - Kahlil Gibran

Anxiety lurks within her these past few months...taking in half of the oxygen and throwing her the rest to gasp on. She knows what will set her free from it but chooses to ignore the whispers...uninspired to take the step. The weight of the world does not lie upon her yet she doesn't open herself freely to it. You are the way, You are the light, but she chooses the shadowed corner on this quiet night.

Tears has been my closest friend this week she comes and go unexpectedly visiting on a whim and quietly tiptoing out always there waiting at the corner ready for me to share the secrets of my heart... ~Alia Adistya "Tears are God's gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow." - Rita Schiano

I am suddenly surrounded by grief and sadness... empty looks... they share their thoughts of despair Let me be of service to You I am at lost for words, at lost for what I need to do to help them or will a simple prayer be enough... is my prayer strong enough? "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran

This pounding headache beats its pain from yesterdays emotional and exhausting day. Two months ago I had a spontaneous tarot card reading. He told me someone in my family will be leaving and it will impact the way I think...maybe this pounding headache is those thoughts trying to surface..because I currently have nothing in my head...only a prayer that my uncle will rest in peace. “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” - Oscar Wilde

A sister softly prays...head down, thin white shawl draped over her head. Wife sits staring out the glaring window, no expression, still, containing all emotions... Daughter lays down on the floor mat, head pounding. She turns her body towards the wall as a teardrop falls from her already swollen eyes and I catch my breath to keep strong. I look away to the grandchildren, sharing and playing their nintendo DS focused and full of joy... Cousin reading the gossip column...mano oh mano...again and again Nephew sits alone at a distance with his earphones..."Tak gendong..kemana-mana" Tapping his knees...drumming away to the beat of the music. With all this activity..there is this silent suffocation as we all wait...for what...for God's answer for today...